Rest for the Weary

I bumped into discouragement this morning. It was not a friendly meeting. I fell down in it for awhile, rolled around in it. I tried for awhile to get away, but for some reason, discouragement just did not want to let me go happily about my day.

I took a shower, thinking that might help wash away the discouragement that seemed to want to cling to me, and while I was standing in the hot water, letting it pour down the back of my neck and over my shoulders,  it suddenly came to me that I needed to listen to the Chaplet of Divine Mercy in Song. This morning. Now. As soon as possible.

I continued to think about it as I dried off and got dressed, although my mind kept trying to convince me that I should do other things. My mind, small little thing that it is, and very focused on it's own motives, wanted me to do something that looked more like work, more productive than sitting around listening to people sing "For the sake of your sorrowful passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world" over and over again. My mind did not like this idea. My mind tried to convince me that this was dumb: Yes, Divine Mercy! I know what that is! I know the concept. Please, can we move on now? Let's do something else today, ok? What other new things can we think about?

But I did it. I listened to my heart, pulled it up on my iphone and pressed play (you can listen to it here). About 42 seconds into the song, I started to cry. And I cried. And I kept crying for the duration of the song (18 minutes, 15 seconds), which is a really long time to cry. I would call that a "good cry". I would call that "productive". And I would call it "work", because I had to show up and pay attention, and focus, and be present.

When all the tears that needed to be shed were gone, I read some scripture verses to help bring me hope and ease my discouragment. And then I wrote the poem below, based partially on these verses from John 15:

As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love.  I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.  My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.  You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.  You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you. This is my command: Love each other.


John 15

It is too cold in this winter
to plant, yet the orchid blooms on the windowsill
and the evergreen outside spreads wide branches in defiance
of death. Eternal, say the outspread arms, an invitation to the weary
of heart, to all who stumble the path of frozen travels in firm steps
searching for the everlasting. Yesterday, today, tomorrow
it says, I will be
here
air
and green
and breathing

and life. So there is something in that
tree that says forever
that says not fear
something that holds us
as the wind does its changing
dance. Still,

there is soil
and roots
while the ground turns its cold shoulder
to seeds and sprouting, to the upward pushing
potential of flowers, to the garden's abundance
and vines hung heavy with creation's

fruit: the thing that comes
from labor, from the vision
of something new
to sustain us, love
harvested.



Other verses to help with discouragement:


Deuteronomy 33:27 – The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms.

Psalm 126:5 – Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy.

Psalm 37:23-24 – If the Lord delights in a man’s way, he makes his steps firm; though he stumbles, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with his hand.